Exodus II
All of the Hebrews leave [Egypt]. God then says that he’s gonna make the pharaoh's heart hard and have the pharaoh chase after them.
God also tells Moses to stop somewhere by a sea and basically the pharaoh was able to catch up with them.
The Hebrews are like, “Literally, why did you make us do all of this? We told you that we were fine being slaves and it would’ve been better for us to be slaves than to just die out in the middle of nowhere.”
God is like, “Gotcha! I’m gonna do a crazy trick now!” He then parts the sea and the Egyptians follow them. But then God makes the sea collapse on the Egyptians
Then they [the Hebrews] are on the other side of the sea. They have no food. They have no water. They’re upset and God keeps setting up tricks for them.
God comes down to do the ten commandments. He will not let anyone see him. He makes Moses act as bodyguard.
God starts to get into a lot of slave talk here. He says that if you have a slave and your slave has kids, then the kids become the master’s kids.
God says if you beat up your slave and your slave dies, then you should be punished, but if your slave lives, then you shouldn’t be punished because the slave is actually your property all along. However, if you knock out your slave’s eye or your slave’s tooth, then you have to let them go.
List of people that should die.
God says if you kill someone, hit your mom or dad, kidnap anybody, or curse your mom or your dad, then you need to die.
If you have an animal that hurt somebody and you know that your animal is a little ruckus then you should die.
Witches need to die.
People who live with animals need to die.
People who sacrifice to other gods need to die.
If a guy has sex with a girl who is not already married, then he needs to pay the dad the full price that it would cost if she were to become his bride. If the dad doesn’t want to, then he needs to pay for the price of her being a virgin, I guess.
Omg my new fav part, “If you lend money to any of my people who are poor among you, you shall not be like a money lender to him you shall not charge him interest” Hello BANKS!!!!
Now they’re sprinkling blood on people as part of a covenant.
God makes Aaron a priest. He then gets into very detailed instructions on how to make places to worship Him even so much as like how many rings need to be on the set of each curtain in the joint and like, door handles and shit.
It truly goes on for pages and pages of like how the breast plates need to be made and how the tunics need to be made and how we have to carve stones with each person‘s name and what jewels need to be on those and how we need to braid gold for like it’s ridiculous
oh my God, then God gets into all this weird stuff about an ox and two rams and like very specific instructions on how to slaughter them and it’s very weird and witchy and at one point, he says they should kill one of the Rams and take some of the Rams bloods and put it on the tip of the right ear of this guy named Aaron and on the tip of the right ear of his sons and on the thumb of their right hand and on the big toe of their right foot and sprinkle the blood around the altar that he wants them to create
God tells Moses to go around the children of Israel and number everybody and then tell them that they need to give Moses half a shackle so that they can make an offering to the Lord in a tone for themselves. Meanwhile, he’s saying everything needs to be golden, amethyst, and bronze and beautiful
God said while you’re at it, Moses, go ahead and take some spices get yourself 500 shekels of murder and 250 shekels of cinnamon and Kane and then I’m just gonna have you make a oil so that you can sort of perfume the whole worshiping place that I want you to have
if you work on the Sabbath, you should be put to death and you will be exiled
then Aaron and Moses tell all of the people they need to take the gold earrings off of their wives ears and put them in the fire and so they do that in a calf comes out of it I guess the gold calf and they all start dancing so it seems like the Hebrews didn’t do the sacrifices the exact way that God wanted them to do them so now God is pissed off and is saying that he’s gonna burn a hot wrath on all of them and Moses is like why are you doing that? that’s weird considering everything and god was like ok i’ll chill out but then Moses sees that and Moses is pissed off like why are you guys doing it that way and Moses decides that he’s gonna do it us versus them type thing and says if you’re with me and you’re with the Lord, then come with me and then they go murder everybody that’s not with them which is 3000 people
-Z
“It truly goes on for pages and pages of like how the breast plates need to be made and how the tunics need to be made and how we have to carve stones with each person‘s name and what jewels need to be on those and how we need to braid gold for like it’s ridiculous.”
